2nd June 2024 There were
certain reasons I wanted to do a podcast, the main one was to explore the link
between what we wear and how we behave. The other
one was to have a platform to tell some of the stories about the ridiculous and
hilarious things that have happened to me over the years. Naming the
podcast ‘A Shoo In’ was a play on words for a few reasons. Obviously the
fashion reference, the idea of a foot in the door and the story about the time
my shoe fell off during an interview. The memory of that interview has stayed
with me more visibly than any of the other interviews I have had over the
years. It was for
a Retail Graduate Scheme with John Lewis. I should have known it would be
problematic when I turned up at Meadowhall only to realise that John Lewis was
in Sheffield City Centre. I had to hot foot it across town (literally in my
killer heels) to make it in time. When my shoe fell off as we ascended the long
flight of stairs from the office to the shop floor I was mortified. Hobbling down the stairs, collecting the shoe and
recomposing myself was all done through a hot mess.
It's a shoo in: Episode Six
I don’t
know how I managed to complete the interview. I didn’t get the job but I did
get offered a different Retail Graduate Scheme which I chose not to pursue. I
cannot remember anything about that interview so I am guessing my shoes stayed
on.
Anyway,
back to the episode. Gabby was brilliant, she had so much to say and we could
have literally talked for hours. I loved the recording, it was everything I
wanted it to be, both funny and informative. Her approach to talking about
interviews was candid and realistic and she shared the perspective of the
candidate, the company and also the recruiter – something you don’t often hear.
My
favourite moments include her fashion memory on her first day in role, the
stories about ghosting and obviously when I got to share how my shoe fell down
30 steps. I was going to call this one ‘The gift of the Gabby’ but ‘A Shoo In’
was too good to pass up.
Next time
Gabby?!
The Psychology Of Fashion: Episode Five
This was the first episode that I had planned in advance and also the first one with a complete stranger. To say I was petrified was an understatement.
I was also in a state of disbelief that someone I didn’t know and had reached out to would agree to be on my podcast.
I had a lot of the ‘before’ fear that I had with the first episode – as I wasn’t sure it would go ahead despite a pre meeting and a planned date for the interview in the diary. I was still early days and there was still all the first doubt.
I met Dr Carolyn Mair through AI. That sounds crazy but it is true. When I started researching for the podcast I asked AI who the leading voices were linking together Psychology and Fashion in the UK and I was presented with Carolyn. I reached out to her and we recorded the episode. I was very nervous because we didn’t know each other and again that desire to become professional came across – but this time it was with a guest rather than something I felt I needed to project to the audience. Until this point, everything discussed around clothes was based on opinion and feeling. How the guests I interview feel in their clothes is invaluable feedback and still dominates some of the conversations today.
Carolyn was able to bring science into the equation and I loved this dimension. We talked a lot about perception and how quick people are to judge one another based on first impressions – and that includes clothing.
The idea that judgements happen so quickly has come back to me several times since recording the podcast. I had always thought about it in relation to other people but further down the line when I met Alicia Kite and she asked me what people would think of me when they first met me – and then gave me her view – it made me think a lot more about self-perception and personal brand.
Carolyn’s conversation remains one of the most popular on the Podcast. The first time someone told me they had listened to her conversation with me and then downloaded her book, I realised two things:
1. People were actually finding the podcast interesting and not just listening because they were friends/family.
2. The ripple effect of sharing stories had the propensity to be massive. It was time to tell a little bit of my story.
Typecast: Episode Four
I was so
excited about this one! Adele is a friend but also a celebrity (though I know
she will cringe at the use of that word). We did the podcast in person at my
house (still in my home office and still using the same tech). I had bought a
microphone for the occasion but I hadn’t exactly splashed the cash on my choice
and it was rubbish so we stuck with voice recorder on my phone.
I did
however take a picture of us in front of the microphone to use on social media
because I thought it would look good. I think I even plugged it in for effect.
The
conversation with Adele was so easy, as an actor she was a natural. Witty,
professional and had so much to say. It also made it easier that we recorded in
person. Online it is harder to anticipate when the person will next speak so
you have a number of stutters where you are both talking over each other which
need to be edited or long pauses so people can signal they are done speaking
and it is your turn.
I couldn’t
wait to edit and launch this one and I remember feeling a real urgency to post
about it. I wanted to let people know that the series was continuing and this
fourth episode made it feel very real.
We posted the picture (fake mic and all)
and I felt validated by the response.
People
really got behind this one because they know Adele or because they have seen
her on screen and I definitely had the celebrity ‘buzz’. This was the first
episode where I had the confidence to join in the conversation – rather than
solely be the interviewer - and I loved it, I felt that I was able to come out
of my shell and that was the start of something new.
Stand Out For Success: Episode Three
I mentioned
that I didn’t quite feel confident enough to admit that Lizzie in Episode 2 was
a friend. Well I definitely didn’t feel confident enough to confess that for
Episode 3 I roped my mum in. When I say I roped my Mum in, in reality she would
be a star guest on any podcast (or show or event) and most of the time she is
in actual fact running the show. Her career has been and still is glittering
and diverse and she has a wealth of business experience. I really wanted the
opportunity to tell her story but we couldn’t get the podcast quite right. We
recorded an episode that felt a bit like a re run of ‘This is your life’ where
I asked her about everything she had done. I actually learned a lot about how
she had felt at different parts of her career and the outfits she had worn but
we decided to scrap the whole thing and start again.
Looking back I can’t quite recall why there
was such a gap between launching the first two podcasts and this one (I might
have spent a couple of weeks hyperventilating into a plastic bag with the
embarrassment of being a podcaster or I could have just gone on holiday to
Tenerife) but three weeks later, Episode 3 launched.
We ended up recording the
episode on how to dress for networking calling it ‘Stand out for success’. Most
people hate networking because we are creatures of habit and the idea of
breaking out of our shells and making small talk either to sell ourselves or
our business is not our idea of fun. Luckily my Mum (who I should call Paula as
I insist on calling her that throughout the episode) is a seasoned networker
and had a lot of advice. I do wonder whether I should have mentioned in the
actual podcast that she is my mum and on reflection it sounds bizarre that I
maintain a level of formality during the conversation.
When reading this it is
important to remember that I was still in the very early stages of both
podcasting and presenting my newly found professional identity and I couldn’t
very well refer to Paula as ‘Mummy’ on Spotify.
We got the episode done and the
feedback and advice on networking from listeners was great. As expected
everyone dreads it and was looking for advice. I had managed to get my Mum’s
story out there and was onto episode four.
I should add that there have
been numerous times when my Mum and I have attended professional events
together and acted as colleagues and not as mother and daughter. One of my
favourite memories is being in Hong Kong having accompanied my Mum on a trip with
the UK Department of Trade and Industry to network (surprise surprise). At the
end of a long meeting with several businessmen in a wood panelled boardroom in
the mid levels (where I had sat and nodded diligently as the assistant and note
taker) one man looked at me and just said ‘You are Paula’s daughter’ and we
knew we had been busted.
Where do I belong?: Episode Two
I recorded this one with one of my oldest and closest friends. She was an obvious choice for episode two because I knew her (so she couldn’t say no) and like me she loves an opportunity to speak. In the beginning of building a podcast it is important to have a line up of guests and a clear plan – I didn’t know this and I hadn’t thought about it but if you do start a podcast I would thoroughly recommend prepping the first few speakers in advance. I found people as I went for the first series.
I hadn’t quite relaxed into the fact that I could be
natural with my guests and admit I knew them (more of that later) so the
episode is more formal than it would have been if we would have recorded it
now. Lizzie was a natural, which made my life easier and talked a lot about her
personal brand – which has become a theme for many of my guests. I hadn’t quite
expected SBWD to be about personal branding – mainly because I hadn’t given my
personal brand a lot of thought having previously been absorbed by the brands
of the organisations I had worked for. What worked well in particular was that
it was totally different to Episode 1. Lizzie has a very different target
audience to Charlotte and this meant I immediately had two diverse episodes
with a common theme of ‘dress’ and ‘identity’.
One of the things Lizzie said that stuck with
me was that she always wore the same dress for any photo shoots or branding.
That surprised me. I was very much of the mindset ‘never be seen in the same
outfit twice’ and I was meticulous about not re-wearing the same combination of
clothes in work setting.
What Lizzie
made me realise is that she personified her brand and wearing the same or very
similar outfits for appearances helped her to create a consistent personal
image and brand. It was strategic and done with purpose and suddenly that
became very meaningful.
I remember how the conversation ended
‘Thanks for having me on such a fun podcast’
and I was so grateful for those
words. She had called it ‘fun’ which definitely meant that listeners would find
it ‘fun’ and surely if you say it – it has to be true doesn’t it!
Model Behaviour: Episode One
I was petrified about recording the episode. I wasn’t at all worried about the actual conversation. I knew Charlotte would be a great guest and I was confident that the dialogue would flow. What scared me was the feeling I had before our recording and the thought of what was to come after. In the ‘before’ stage all of my anticipation was around whether it would go to plan. I had always wanted to start a podcast but wasn’t really sure what was involved. I presumed I would need a studio, an editor and some kind of professional mic. I decided that I would just try to do it anyway with the tools that I had and see what happened. On the first episode of SBWD I was sitting in my Home Office on my laptop on a Teams Call that I recorded. I didn’t know how it would sound or if it would even work, and even though I knew Charlotte relatively well I still wanted to look professional and planned. I used an editing app that my daughter had used at school when they had made a podcast about igneous rock and the skills of a very techy husband to help pull it all together.
If I thought the ‘before’ stage was scary I had no
idea what the ‘after’ would feel like.
We spent roughly 40 minutes recording and we were done. I had my first podcast. I was stuck in a petrifying realisation that I had asked Charlotte to give her time to this, we had done it and now I had to actually go through with posting it. This was a whole new level of fear. Who was I to put myself out there as a podcast host and take up space in the podcasting industry. What would people think? Would anyone listen? The only thing more mortifying than actually publishing the episode would have been admitting to Charlotte I was too scared to go through with it. Luckily I mumbled my hesitations to her guised in a ‘I am going to post it over the next few weeks, I am not quite sure when’ string of useless sentences. I can still hear the words coming through via Teams from her in her wonderful Belfast accent
‘Just get it posted’
and the rest is history!
What I loved about the conversation with Charlotte
is that she oozes confidence but she also oozes kindness. Her warmth emanates
through the conversation and she immediately makes the listener feel at ease. I
can still remember how she describes the time that she walked on stage in a
bikini and managed to get herself covered in gold glitter. It was such a
brilliant start to the series and still makes me smile six months later. Once I
had finally taken her advice and had the guts to publish it I also realised
that I should tell my friends about it. Isn’t it funny it was actually easier
to publish this and post it out there to strangers then to tell people I knew
that I had started a podcast. I think we fear judgement the most from those who
know us. When people see us in one way or as doing one ‘thing’ when we start to
do something else that doesn’t automatically fit the mould of how they think we
are, they are quick to judge.
A bit of advice here: if someone you know is brave enough to try something knew – support them wholeheartedly. Give them every bit of boost they need because they likely need it one hundred times more than you expect them to. With trepidation I shared the podcast with my friends. I gingerly wrote the messages telling friends I had launched a podcast. Each one peppered with phrases like ‘I need your opinion’. ‘Let me know what you think’.
I now know that I was suffering from ‘The Fear of the Cringe’ which I
don’t get to talk about until my conversation with Nicola Kemp in Season 3. I
didn’t need their feedback at all, not at that moment in time, I just needed
their support. Luckily on the whole I had good friends. The feedback that came
back was great and was just the boost I needed to tip the balance from totally
embarrassed to just that little bit proud. At that point my impatience took
over. One episode felt nowhere near enough. Stressed But Well Dressed had
started and I was determined to make it a series, which meant I needed guest
number two.
The First Six Months
Six months
ago I sat down with Charlotte Clemie and recorded the first episode of Stressed
But Well Dressed. I had no idea what I was doing and no vision of what the
podcast could or would become. I had met Charlotte when she did a headshot for
me and I was inspired by her story and her confidence. Charlotte told me about
her photography business and her plans to take the business international. She
couldn't work out when her opportunity might come up to be offered an
international shoot so she decided to take the plans into her own hands and run
one herself. Charlotte booked flights to Venice, marketed the opportunity for
her clients to come and meet her for an Italian photo shoot and within 24 hours
it was a sell out. Her tenacity made me realise that if you want something done
the best plan is always to do it yourself. I knew I wanted to be on a podcast
(which did in fact happen) but it made me realise that I could run a podcast,
and so I decided to do just that. Charlotte was an obvious choice for my first
guest and in October 2023 the first episode was recorded and launched with the
title 'Model Behaviour' and Stressed But Well Dressed was born.
What have I learned about the podcast?
I initially categorised the
Podcast as 'Business' focused but I quickly realised two things.
1. What we wear touches every part of
our every day and therefore it spans much further than business. I quickly
re-categorised the Podcast to be part of 'Society and Culture' which happen to
be two major influences on how we choose to dress and how we feel.
2. When you start get into a conversation,
everyone has an opinion on clothes. It isn't directly related to fashion or
trends, it is a memory linked to a personal experience. It is a way they have
felt because of what they wore, or a way they choose to dress to feel a certain
way. Clothing can tell stories and in many cases it is an integral part of the
stories people have and the way that they shape their identity. The stories I
have told through the episodes talk about self-perception, identity and belonging.
They demonstrate how people show who they are through what they wear. Most
importantly, they really illustrate how achieving a well dressed mindset
(through how they feel) can help to reduce the stress.
Stressed But Well Dressed - The brand
I hadn't quite anticipated the fact that creating a podcast would also be the
creation of a brand and I definitely hadn't anticipated that it would become so
intrinsically linked to my identity. When my children initially made me some
'merch' in the form of a pottery cafe mug and a t-shirt I realised that the
podcast had become a brand. People were messaging me about episodes and ideas
inadvertently using the acronym SBWD, helping me to establish the brand name.
As the weeks progressed people started sending me articles and tagging me in
relevant threads, I even received pictures of clothing that made them think of
the brand and made me realise the opportunity for to grow. I couldn't have
imagined the power of having a brand that I had created from scratch that I
could feel so incredibly proud of. What started as an idea for one or two
recordings has turned into a part of who I am. SBWD is still evolving and I am
learning about how to build a recognisable, relatable brand that knows what it
stands for and creates value for others. I am so glad I chose 16th October to
be Day One and didn't wait to be confident enough to start one day.